OOM

[obligatoryass]

Logan checked the door one last time, just to make sure it would continue to open to Neptune. How embarrassing would it be if it didn't open? Or worse, opened somewhere boring, like Indiana.

Fortunately, the Neptune Grand is right on the other side, and he leaves the door open a crack, just in case Bar should decide to play a cruel, cruel trick on them both. But it seems the trip is likely to go off as planned.

He turns as he hears a knock on the door and goes to answer it.

Comments

[obligatoryass]

"We won't be in the car long," Logan promises.

He's not exactly an unaggressive driver. That probably doesn't help Amy's vague terror.

Fortunately, he told the truth - the mall was not far away.

It's large. Concrete and glass. And called, of course, The Galleria.

[kitchen_maid]

Oh, of course.

It is the stangest building Amy has ever seen.

She's overused the word interesting, however, so she's having trouble thinking of something to say.

"This is a marketplace?" she settles for, finally. "It's all . . . covered up."

[obligatoryass]

"Yeah," Logan says. "Americans are big on controlling their environments. Inside, stuff's a little more mercantile."

He climbs out of the XTerra and walks to Amy's side of the car. Luckily, he found rock star parking so they don't have to dodge too much traffic. "Coming here is like, a hobby for some people my age. They just hang out and goof off, without even buying stuff. It's a time-honored tradition."

Well, sort of. If '30 years or so' equals time-honored.

[kitchen_maid]

Amy nods, stays close to Logan, and makes it across the street.

"And are you one of those people?" she starts to ask, but then they're inside, and the whole thing is rather overwhelming.

[obligatoryass]

"No," he says, answering her question. "At least, not usually. Sometimes my buddy Dick likes to come and hit on middle schoolers."

He kind of hope she doesn't understand that, or that she thinks it's a joke.

It's not.

[kitchen_maid]

Well, she understood everything except "hit on" and "middle schoolers."

"Oh," she says. "Is it always this . . . actually, Logan, I don't think I have adjectives for this."

[obligatoryass]

"Pretty much," he says, wondering if possibly he'd miscalculated. Logan is so mall-accliated that he never would have thought it possibly scary.

"We can go, if you want," he says earnestly.

[kitchen_maid]

Amy shakes her head. "No, it's fine, it's just . . . it's fascinating. I'm just not sure where to look first."

[obligatoryass]

Logan nods. "Okay, well, down there is the food court. You can get greasy versions of all kinds of food from my word. And the people are involved in all kinds of fun social interactions - those two, over there? On a date. He's interested, she's totally not."

The two in question are a pair of high school kids, probably freshmen. The boy is talking animatedly and the girl is picking at her salad and staring around the mall as if searching for a friend to save her.

[kitchen_maid]

Amy looks at the indicated couple. "Well, that at least hasn't changed. Looks like my sister Sapphire and that rather persistant Baron of hers."

[obligatoryass]

"I don't think it ever does," Logan says drily. "Guys can't take a hint."

He looks around again, spotting a group of idle males watching all the girls walk by. "And those three goofballs are hoping one of the girls will realize that the catcalls are flirtatious, not offensive."

Pause. "Guys are also not very bright, a lot of the time."

[kitchen_maid]

Amy looks at the the group of boys and then back at Logan, eyebrow raised incredulously.

"That's meant to be flirtatious? They sound like they're trying to herd cows."

[obligatoryass]

"Yeah, well, they don't know that," he says, smirking at their youthful ignorace. "They're young and dumb and certain they're the coolest kids on the planet."

[kitchen_maid]

Amy merely nods.

"Like knights," she says. "Until someone comes along and knocks them off their horses."

[obligatoryass]

"Which will happen...right now."

A group of juniors - well, rising seniors, now - has come along to harrass the soon-to-be sophomores.

They're not violent, at least, just obnoxious.

"Ah, high school. How glad I am to be done with you."

[kitchen_maid]

Amy giggles. "This could be the courtyard at the palace. Except for the odd lights and the strange music and the clothes."

[obligatoryass]

"Glad to hear it's not totally alien," Logan says, laughing. "So, what's your favorite shop at home, then? Are you a sucker for jewelry or clothes or what? Because the mall has any consumer good you could want, usually in spades."

[kitchen_maid]

"Do I strike you as a person whose overly concerned about clothes or jewelry?" she says, amused. "I like the onion stall -- Mr. Vidalia is charming, and Daddy insists that a member of the family do all royal table onion purchases."

Onions are a hobby of her father's.

[obligatoryass]

"No," he says, amused. "Sadly, there are no onions at the mall, but we can hit the grocery store on the way home. There are lots of onions there. Or we can continue our anthropological survey of wildlife at the mall."

[kitchen_maid]

"I think I'm good on onions, thank you. It's more that I enjoy talking to Mr. Vidalia than that I'm excessively fond of root vegetables."

[obligatoryass]

"I see," Logan says.

This is a foreign concept. And yet, for Amy, he'll see what he can manage. "Well, I need a few things - a new watch, for starters. How about we start there?"

[kitchen_maid]

"That's fine," she says.

Her vision of watches involve chains and pockets, so this should prove interesting.

[obligatoryass]

Logan steers them to the nearest department store - it happens to be Nordstroms - but before they're halfway there, a voice calls Logan's name.

He turns, and who does he see but a brown-haired Madison Sinclair. Raising an eyebrow, he says, "Oh, goody. This should just take a minute, okay?" as the annoying 09er walks toward them.

[kitchen_maid]

"Of course," says Amy. "Is she a friend of yours?"

[obligatoryass]

"Not exactly," he muttered, as Madison reaches earshot.

"Logan!" she exclaims. "I'm SO sorry about your dad! That's really sad. I didn't get to go to the funeral because I was in Mexico with my boyfriend, but I TOTALLY donated to the Hurricane Relief Fund. Anyway, I just wanted to offer my condolences."