OOM

[obligatoryass]

Logan checked the door one last time, just to make sure it would continue to open to Neptune. How embarrassing would it be if it didn't open? Or worse, opened somewhere boring, like Indiana.

Fortunately, the Neptune Grand is right on the other side, and he leaves the door open a crack, just in case Bar should decide to play a cruel, cruel trick on them both. But it seems the trip is likely to go off as planned.

He turns as he hears a knock on the door and goes to answer it.

Comments

[kitchen_maid]

"Oh, I don't think so," says Amy, pleasantly if rather disinterestly. "I'm sure if we'd met before, you'd remember."

What? Just because she doesn't usually choose to act like a princess doesn't mean she doesn't know how.

[obligatoryass]

Madison opens her mouth to respond.

Then she closes it again.

She turns to Logan. "Anyway, it was nice seeing you, Logan. If you need anything, you just let me know, okay?"

Logan has never heard a less sincere offer of help, but he smiles rigidly back. "Thanks, Madison," he says. "I'll see you."

And with that, he steers Amy away from the annoying girl.

[kitchen_maid]

Amy shudders slightly as they walk away.

"Is she always that . . . rude?"

[obligatoryass]

"Always," Logan says ruefully. "When she's not talking incessantly, she's making what she thinks are biting comments. It's not her fault, mostly - she's spoiled rotten and dumb as a box of rocks - but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with."

He gives her a sidelong look. "No one's quite that rude back home, huh?"

[kitchen_maid]

"Not that openly rude," she says. "At least," she adds, with a smile, "not to me."

[obligatoryass]

"They never were with me," he says, a little sadly. "At least, not before this year. You get accused of murder and suddenly it's like you were never Neptune's social king."

They reach the store, and Logan makes a beeline for the watch counter.

[kitchen_maid]

"As opposed to its antisocial king?"

Amy follows, looking curiously around. With the counters and stands and assorted cashiers, this actually looks much more like the marketplace she's used to than the mall in general.

[obligatoryass]

"Exactly," Logan says, beaming. "It's not a title I've worked for, but I've found some small satisfaction in my outcast status. After all, it's not like it kept people from coming to my parties."

And being suspected of murdering a PCHer probably only made him go up in some people's books.

Logan greets the clerk, a perky (and polite) blonde by the name of Addison.

[kitchen_maid]

"Well, a royal party is basically a command appearance, isn't it?" Amy asks.

She smiles a bit at Addison. This part of the store is very . . . shiny.

[obligatoryass]

Logan points at a watch that looks quite complicated. "What can you tell me about that one?" he asks, smiling charmingly.

"Oh!" Addison says brightly, removing it from the case. "Well, it's croc-embossed, water resistant, and tells you the time in three different zones. It's pretty cool. We sell a lot of these."

[kitchen_maid]

Again, Amy is going to have to go with shiny. Because she has no idea what Addison is going on about.

"Very nice," she says.

[obligatoryass]

"See anything you like?" Logan asks Amy. "I'm usually open to advice."

[kitchen_maid]

Even the most Ordinary of princesses is usually a good person to ask for advice about jewelry, as a general rule.

Amy dismisses anything that could even remotely be described as a "sports watch" out of hand. There's a pocket watch in one corner, but only one, which means that while it looks normal to her, it can't be for here, so that is passed over as well.

She studies the rest silently and thoughtfully for a long moment (which clearly unnerves Addison a bit), and then points. "That one, I think. The silver-colored one, but that's not silver." Stainless steel hasn't really made it to Phantasmoranian jewelry yet.

The watch is simply, heavy, understated, but quality. Expensive, yes, but not . . . showy.

[obligatoryass]

It's a pretty fantastic watch, and as Addison details the specs, Logan beams.

"I'll take it," he says. "Amy, your taste is impeccable. Thanks."

He ponders where to take her next, and suppresses an insane desire to show her an American bridal shop.

It's probably no scarier than preparing for a royal wedding, after all. But that's just a guess, since he's never actually been to one. Thank goodness.

[kitchen_maid]

That should be remedied. Everyone should go to a royal wedding at some point.

While he ponders, Amy asks about something that is bothering her. "Logan, does everyone here have a name that rhymes? And why are all the girls named something-son? Shouldn't it be Madidaughter?"

[obligatoryass]

It will, and then Logan will know if Phantasmoranian brides also dress like snowdrifts, or if they are somewhat more streamlined than many American brides. But he will never, ever of his own free will enter a bridal shop, and this is probably a mercy.

Logan scratches his head. "It's a trend," he says, moving away from the watch counter. "Madison's a city, and a last name - a surname, really. And so it started this trend, giving girl babies last names for first names. Addison is one, so's like, Harper and Jordan and what have you. So really, it means nothing except that her parents are sheep and like the name."

[kitchen_maid]

"Oh, I see. I suppose it's no sillier than naming all your daughters after gemstones."

And, to be fair, it's not.

[obligatoryass]

"Good point," Logan says. "It is pretty silly, though. I'm lucky my name isn't particularly trendy anymore."

Except on Tv, of course.

"So what now? Boat, beach or bar?" he says. "Joking about that last one - I think we get enough mutual bar time. Have you had enough mall?"

[kitchen_maid]

"Your name suits you," says Amy. "Which is all that matters in the end.

"As for the other, quite enough mall, and no bars, please." Anything where Amy might be asked to produce ID is probably best avoided. "Boat, maybe?"

[obligatoryass]

"Boat," Logan says. "It's not a sailboat, though. It's more like a car that goes on water."

Warning is good. "We don't have to leave the docks, though."

[kitchen_maid]

"Is it yellow?"

[obligatoryass]

"No, it's white. With some brown."

Possibly this will make it seem safer?

[kitchen_maid]

A little. Maybe. And to be fair, it wasn't so much the car as the traffic and the roads.

"All right," she says.

[obligatoryass]

"Awesome," Logan says, leading her back to the car.

He'll drive safer this time. He thinks.

[kitchen_maid]

And she'll know what to expect, which will help.

"It's . . ." she says, watching the landscape go by, ". . . it's almost like we're still and the world is rushing past, isn't it?"