OOM: The text that started it all

[obligatoryass]

If Logan were a braver man, he'd call Trina himself. If he were a really, properly brave man, he'd go see her.

But bravery isn't really Logan's strong point. He can't even manage an e-mail, as lame as that would be.

Instead, he sends her a text message.

"Short on cash. Can't pay rent. Please advise."

He hits send and knocks back a shot of tequila.

The bottle's not small, and it's half-empty. He opened it an hour ago. It's amazing that the text came out coherently. Muscle memory, even in a thumb, is an amazing thing.

Comments

[dead_hooker_2]

It's not what she means, anyway. What she means is, You have to actually try, Logan as opposed to You should make a show of doing what you think people want to see but without much actual effort and then going 'see, I tried' when it doesn't work.

But there's no way to say that.

"There is one other thing I need to tell you."

[obligatoryass]

No, there's not. It wouldn't make any difference, even if she figured out how.

Logan sighs, waiting for the inevitable lecture to follow: "Beverly says you called about a spot of trouble in Tijuana..." That totally wasn't a big deal. All he needed was a wire transfer to pay off that undercover cop...

"Yeah?"

[dead_hooker_2]

"I'm pregnant."

[obligatoryass]

Logan says nothing.

Surely Trina is joking. SURELY.

[dead_hooker_2]

Does Trina look like she's joking?

"I figured you'd want to hear it from me, and not Entertainment Tonight."

[obligatoryass]

"Yeah," he says, after a long moment. "Yeah, I, uh, appreciate that."

Where does he even start?

"When, uh, when does it - uh, the baby - come?"

[dead_hooker_2]

"December.

"So you have months to adjust to the idea of being an uncle, Logan."

[obligatoryass]

"An uncle."

Huh.

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?"

How would he know about trimesters and ultrasounds and what parts develop when?

[dead_hooker_2]

"No.

"It'll be a while yet, before they can tell any of that stuff."

[obligatoryass]

Logan nods. "'K."

"Are you excited?"

[dead_hooker_2]

"Mostly, I'm terrified," she says.

"I mean, I just broke up with my boyfriend, and then found out I was having his baby."

And it's really not like the family is teeming with good examples of how to be a parent.

[obligatoryass]

The breakup wasn't exactly loud, but Logan certainly had heard of it. The baby, on the other hand, given the tabloid's current fascination with baby celebrities, was likely to be huge.

"Yeah - yeah, I can see that. But you're keeping it? Not...adopting or anything?"

Because if she were having an abortion, she'd be done, and he'd never have known about it.

[dead_hooker_2]

"No, nothing like that," she says.

Which is not to say that she didn't consider all her options. But not for very long.

"I'm not getting married, either."

He asked. It was very sweet.

A little archaic, but very sweet.

[obligatoryass]

For that last, Logan is grateful. It was tough enough being nice to Chad. It would be worse to be nice to his brother-in-law, the annoying tool.

"What's Chad think of all this?"

[dead_hooker_2]

"Apparently, that his grandmother is going to kill him."

Nice boys do not knock girls up.

Especially not girls like Trina Echolls.

She shrugs. "I think we're both still a little shocked. But he'll be a good father."

[obligatoryass]

"And you'll be a good mom," Logan says, and he's pretty damn sure of that. She might lack a decent role model, but she'll still be awesome. "And you'll do it with style."

[dead_hooker_2]

"Yeah, and you better be a good uncle," she says.

Or else.

[obligatoryass]

"I've got practice at uncle-ing," he says, smug. "Now, being a dad I'd totally suck at. Uncle, though, that I can pull off. It can't be too different from being a godfather, right? The real kind, not the Marlon Brando kind."

[dead_hooker_2]

"There will be no making of my child an offer he or she can't refuse," says Trina, promptly.

[obligatoryass]

"Nah, we all know how that ends, and I don't want to have to kill my niece or nephew's pony and then behead it."

No one wants that, really. "Besides, I'd need to assemble an army of consiglieres, and who wants to do that?"

[dead_hooker_2]

"You are clearly still not exactly sober, little brother," she says, shaking her head.

"Just, get your shit together, okay, Logan? Please."

[obligatoryass]

"Sure," he says. "Sure."

Because Trina will have enough worrying to do, what with a kid and all. Clearly, he should grow up and let her be a parent to the person who is actually under the age of emancipation.

But how the hell is he going to manage that?